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Simply Sarena

Simply Sarena

Home | Blog | He Should Be Here… (Losing My Love at 25 | Part 4)

He Should Be Here… (Losing My Love at 25 | Part 4)

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Grieving Blog, widow blog, young widow, loss of spouse, my boyfriend died, my fiance died, my husband died, young death, death blog, loss of spouse at young age, dealing with grief, grief blog

This week has been an exhausting, emotional, exciting, crazy, whirlwind. Last Saturday I tried out for the Redskins Cheerleaders. The Redskins were CJ’s favorite NFL team so I just had to try out for him! Last Sunday was CJ’s birthday. He would have been 29. I found out I made it to Redskins finals on CJ’s birthday.

On CJ’s birthday after I found out I was going to finals, I was headed to his parents house to spend the evening with his family. When I was about to turn into their neighborhood, our favorite song of the past few months came on the radio. I hadn’t heard it in a few weeks. I know it was CJ letting me know he was with me on an exciting but difficult day.

All week, every drive to finals rehearsal, I would break down and cry wishing so badly I could tell CJ about it and hear his enthusiasm and support for me. It was so bitter sweet because I was so proud of myself for making it that far and I know he would be so proud of me if he was here, but he’s not here and he should be here.

At the finals showcase, I wanted nothing more than for him to be there cheering me on. I was so thankful for all my friends in the audience screaming my name, but one voice was missing. I wanted to hear his voice so badly just like I did at every Valor game last season. Him and his friends were always the loudest group of fans. But they really made everyone, including all the staff and security feel special. I remember one game, CJ and his friends were going around the arena getting all the ushers and security’s autographs. They would ask, “Why do you want my autograph?! I’m not important!” CJ would tell them “You’re so important! This game couldn’t happen without you!” He was so right too. The game really couldn’t go on without all the ushers and security and he made sure they knew it! He always supported everyone and made everyone feel appreciated.

I didn’t make the Redskins Cheerleaders…the only thing I wanted to do after I left the theater was to curl up on the couch with CJ, his sweet pup Jojo, a glass of wine, ice cream, and watch friends. My heart breaks everyday knowing he’s missing everything! He’s always been my number 1 fan through all my auditions, photo shoots, games (when I’m on a team), everything. When I do make another team, of course I’ll be ecstatic, but it’ll definitely be hard knowing he won’t physically be there to support me. He won’t be in the stands making me and all the other cheerleaders laugh. He won’t be there to not only be my number 1 fan, but also support all the other girls on the team.

I hate thinking about everything CJ is missing and everything that I will have to do without him. I wish more than anything everyday that he was here. He should be here! I still haven’t accepted that I have to spend the rest of my life without him. I don’t know if I’ll ever accept it. I know he’ll always be supporting me from heaven, but it’s definitely not the same as him being here. I’d do anything to go back in time and have him back. I’ll miss him everyday for the rest of my life and I’ll always think he should be here.

April 17, 2018 · 2 Comments

Previous Post: « It’s Not Getting Any Easier… (Losing My Love at 25 | Part 3)
Next Post: The Universe Failed Me…(Losing My Love at 25 | Part 5) »

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Comments

  1. Kristie says

    April 17, 2018 at 3:30 am

    You were fabulous and I was thinking, the entire time, about how strong you were to be out there. Keep going love, you are truly amazing.

    Reply
    • SimplySarena53 says

      May 6, 2018 at 12:55 am

      Aww, you’re so sweet! Thank you so much for reading my story!

      Reply

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HI EVERYONE!

I’m Sarena


I’m a Northern Virginia based Integrative Nutrition Coach, a Toxin Free Lifestyle enthusiast, a dancer, and a dog mom to my sweet girl, Miss Cammie.

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simply.sarena

So many women suffer every month from debilitating So many women suffer every month from debilitating period cramps. The conventional way of treating them actually makes the problem worse!

❌Birth Control covers up the symptoms because you don’t get a real period. Meanwhile, whatever is causing the cramps in the first place is still going on in the body and probably getting worse! Birth Control does not treat cramps…it only hides the problem!

❌Ibuprofen may help in a pinch but it doesn’t treat what is actually causing the cramps in the first place. Also, ibuprofen is really bad for gut health (and poor gut health could also be a cause of cramps) so you could be making the problem worse!

❌A lot of women turn to junk food on their period however, junk food is inflammatory so if your cramps are caused by inflammation, you could be making the problem worse! If you’re craving chocolate, you probably need magnesium, so if you’re going to eat it, eat good quality DARK chocolate! 

The biggest favor you can do yourself is listen to your body and figure out what is causing the issues in the first place! The answer is different for everyone and there is no one size fits all solution!

Feel free to DM me if you need any support! 

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#womenshealth #periodcramps #periodcrampsrelief #nontoxicliving #lowtoxlife #lowtoxliving #hormonehealth #hormonehealthcoach #womenshormones #hormonal #hormonalimbalance #hormonalimbalances #nutritionforhormones #nutritioncoach #healthandnutrition #holistichealth #holistichealthtips #periodtips #periodproblems #periodpositive #periodpain
Sugar gets such a bad reputation, but not all suga Sugar gets such a bad reputation, but not all sugar is bad!!!

Natural sugar is necessary because it gives us energy! You can find natural sugar in fruits, vegetables, and sweeteners like raw honey, pure maple syrup, dates, coconut sugar, and more.

Watch out for sneaky sugars in processed food as they cause blood sugar spikes which gives us that instant energy but we crash. It also causes type 2 diabetes and insulin issues. 

When you’re reading the ingredient label on food, watch out for different (not so obvious) names for sugar. 

Just because something says 12g of sugar doesn’t mean that 12g is bad sugar…which is why you always need to check the ingredient label for the source of the sugar!

Also, people think Stevia is healthier which isn’t necessarily the case. Stevia is highly processed and should only be consumed occasionally unless you’re consuming stevia in its purest form! 

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#addedsugar #naturalsugar #stevia #holistichealth #holisticnutrition #sneakysugar #ingredientlabels #ingredientsmatter #lowtoxlifestyle #lowtoxdiet #sugarfree #sugarfreediet #sugarfreelifestyle #nontoxicliving #healthyeatinghabits #healthyeatingtips #sugartips #nutritioncoaching #nutritionfacts #nutritiontip
Birth Control does NOT cure a hormone imbalance!!! Birth Control does NOT cure a hormone imbalance!!! Birth Control hides the symptoms of a hormone imbalance, meanwhile the problem is getting worse.

A lot of women struggle with severe symptoms when they come off birth control because they never addressed the underlying cause of their hormone imbalance.

If you are struggling with hormonal acne, period cramps, severe PMS, mood swings, etc. and you think birth control is going to fix the problem, it will not!

There are a lot of factors that can cause a hormone imbalance from our diet, to hormone disrupting chemicals in our daily products, to external factors like stress, lack of sleep, etc. that can throw our hormones out of whack!

If you need support with your hormones, feel free to DM me!

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#hormonehealth #hormonehealthcoach #lowtoxlife #lowtoxlifestyle #crunchyblogger #holistichealthcoach #holistichealthandwellness #womenshealth #womenshealthmatters #womenshealthtips #womenshormonehealth #birthcontrolproblems #birthcontrolpills #birthcontrol #holistichealthcoaching #naturallivingideas #naturallifestyle #naturallivingtips #healthtipsforwomen #pcoslifestyle #hormoneimbalance #hormoneimbalances
Our bodies and hormones are so complex! If you’r Our bodies and hormones are so complex! If you’re eating right, limiting toxin exposure, and still can’t seem to get your hormones under control, it could be a different lifestyle factor coming into play!

We are not men, we do not have the same 24 hour hormone cycle that men have.

We have different needs for different times during the month! Being in tune with your body and doing what it needs at that time is so important!

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#hormonehealth #womenshealth #womenshormones #holistichealthandwellness #lowtoxlifestyle #toxinfreeliving #healthandwellnesscoach #healthandwellnesstips #birthcontrolproblems #birthcontrol #regulatehormonesnaturally #hormoneimbalance #womenslifestyle
These are foods that have been marketed to be heal These are foods that have been marketed to be healthy, but they’re not. There’s so many other actually healthy foods you could eat that are much more satisfying than these. Keep reading for why these aren’t the best options!

❌Whole Wheat Bread: This one comes down to the ingredients. One popular whole wheat bread contains Soybean Oil, Soy Lecithin, and Natural Flavors. Also because I have a gluten sensitivity, eating slices of any bread is a no for me!

❌Cereal: So many cereal’s are full of sugar and synthetic vitamins which are not properly absorbed by our bodies, not to mention artificial colors and flavors. Also, a lot of cereal has extremely high levels of glyphosate! Not a great way to start your day.

❌Flavored Yogurt: Any yogurt except plain yogurt has a lot of sugar. You’ll also find natural flavors and gums in some popular brands. Natural flavors is an easy way for companies to not disclose all ingredients and gums can cause digestive issues. In my opinion, you may as well have a bowl of ice cream and enjoy it than try to be “healthy” with flavored yogurt.

❌Farmed Salmon: You may think you’re making a healthy choice by choosing salmon however, farmed salmon should be avoided as it is basically big agricultures version of salmon. It is bred in crammed cages, fed an unnatural diet of fish meal & animal by products, and they are full of pesticides and antibiotics 🤢

❌Granola Bars: Granola bars are full of a lot of sugar including corn syrup. You may also find soybean oil or canola oil which are inflammatory, and natural flavors. You’re better off baking some cookies and knowing exactly what you’re putting in the cookies. 

Did any of these surprise you?? Let me know in the comments! 

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#healthyeatinghabits #unhealthyfood #lowtox #lowtoxlife #crunchygirl #holisticnutritioncoach #iinhealthcoach #iinalumni #iingrad #toxinfreeliving #nutritiontips #nutritionfacts #eathealthybehealthy #healthychoices #foodismedicine #dontbefooled #biggovsucks #biggovermentsucks #healyourselfnaturally #healyourselfwithfood
I’ve had so many women reach out to me lately ab I’ve had so many women reach out to me lately about wanting to get off birth control, but they’re scared how it will effect their body.

The truth is, if you got on birth control for bad period cramps, hormonal acne, irregular periods, etc., birth control was covering up the problem…not fixing it!

When you go off birth control, you’ll probably find you’ll have the same problems of not worse.

That’s why balancing your hormones is so important when coming off birth control!

These 3 tips are a great place to start! There are so many different things you can do to get your hormones in check. 

Follow for more holistic health & nutrition tips!

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#postbirthcontrolsyndrome #getoffbirthcontrol #hormonehealth #hormonehealthcoach #saynotobirthcontrol #womenshealthcoach #womenshealthmatters #womenshealthtips #womenshealthandwellness #womenshealthadvocate
✨Make sure you save this recipe for later!✨ T ✨Make sure you save this recipe for later!✨

These are the BEST healthy peanut butter chocolate chip cookies 🍪 

Recipe: 

1 egg
1 cup of peanut butter
1/2 cup coconut sugar
1/4 cup ground flaxseed
1/2 tsp aluminum free baking powder
3/4 cup dark chocolate chips (make sure you check the ingredient label and only use clean chocolate chips!)

Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 8-10 minutes!

Let me know if you give these a try! 

#healthydessertrecipes #glutenfreecookies #refinedsugarfree #bakingreel #holisticnutrition #hormonefriendly #womenshealth #womenshormones
It’s still January for a few more days! Last y It’s still January for a few more days! 

Last year, I did a lot that wasn’t working for me. I got so stuck in my routines, I was saying “yes” to everything, even if I didn’t want to, because I didn’t want to offend anyone.

This year, I’m only doing things that light me up and that are in alignment with my goals 💕✨

Health isn’t just about what we eat and the products we use, it’s also about how everything else in our life makes us feel and effects our physical health.

At the end of 2022, I realized I needed to make a change when I was starting to get headaches almost daily again. I had also spent soooo much money it makes me sick thinking about it.

No more! I’m putting myself and my goals first this year! 

#newyearnewme #2023goals #freshstart #holistichealth #holisticwellnesscoach
I ALWAYS have these 5 tea’s on hand 🍵 Green I ALWAYS have these 5 tea’s on hand 🍵

Green Tea: Contains caffeine so it gives me energy. Green Tea is also high in antioxidants!

Echinacea Tea: Has immune supporting properties. It’s even known to shorten symptoms of colds and the flu!

Dandelion Tea: This tea is a powerful liver detox! It also has anti-inflammatory properties.

Raspberry Leaf Tea: This tea is great for a woman’s cycle. It’s high in magnesium and vitamin B6 so it helps relieve PMS symptoms and helps regulate hormones.

Chaga Tea: Chaga is the king of medicinal mushrooms. It’s full of antioxidants and has anti-inflammatory properties. It helps regulate blood sugar and blood pressure, it boosts the immune system, and it may even slow the growth of c**cer cells. Literally the KING! 

My favorite brands of tea are @yogitea, @tradmedicinals, and @numiorganictea. These brands have organic teas and their tea bags are plastic free!
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